Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Sky Team Kit and Hairy Legs

Well as I already mentioned in my last post, I am now sporting the Sky Team kit on my bike rides. I can go out and imagine being Bradley Wiggins!! I like the kit, and I suppose being British its seems patriotic enough, British team with some great British riders. Well I have to bleat. It's about time we had some success. Least unlike the Linda Mcartney it has actually been a success. Anyhow here is a very sexy/ugly/cheesy (delete as applicable) picture of me.

The top I'm happy with but the shorts are causing me some issues.  Anything that's tight and hugs a mans figures are never particularly flattering, there's a fine line between looking like an athlete and looking like a gimp.  I probably........no I don't have a great figure, but at least I'm not over weight with squashed rolls of fat poking out of areas of the bibbed shorts where they aren't supposed to.  To be honest, Lycra shorts are practical, and I've worn them for years.  MTBers these days wear baggy shorts to hide there modesty, as I do now but still get awkwardly snagged on the saddle at odd and inappropriate moments.

I'm digressing. Issues with the shorts. How do I put it politely without shocking you dear reader and causing nausea.  Not sure but this short unlike any other I've owned are a bit grabby around the genital areas and really don't seem to hide much.  Often shorts have padding so hide things a little bit at least.  These have less a padding and a sort of flexible material..........I hope you haven't run away. I just better not stand around public toilets in them.  I wouldn't mind but they are also the least comfortable I've owned too.  Adidas you have a lot to answer for.

Talking of looking right in shorts I still get asked why I shave my legs.  Its like doing so I strip myself of my manhood.  I am no longer a gorilla type alpha male. Then follow the questions of why I shave my legs.  I think over time I've given every excuse under the sun and I've heard other cyclist give just a rubbish reason too. It makes you more aerodynamic (this coming from a MTBer?, with legs covered in mud). Its nice when you put trousers on afterwards (strange kinky fetish is only a step away from putting your leather outfit and asking to be whipped). It better for cuts and wounds and massage (if you have a pro masseurs yes.....but I bet you don't). My lame excuse is the mud washes of easier and when your legs get wet they dry quicker.  But really people it boils down to vanity.  Come on. Admit it.  You shave your legs because hairy legs and tight Lycra look odd.  Your legs just look much more defined without all that hair and lastly they tan better.  So lets say sod it with the excuses and next time you're ask why do you shave your legs, answer with pride.  It makes them look more awesome!!




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